Dustin Glick is the creator/cartoonist of "Dustinland" and "Birdy." From diatribes on conservatism to horse pornography, Dustin’s comedic non-sequiturs prove that there is much humor to be found in the mundane OR possibly not so mundane subjects he chooses to satirize. After checking out his site: www.dustinland.com, I have found yet another way to distract myself from doing anything remotely constructive with my day. I thank him profusely for this.

1-42 :: Having read many of your comic strips, I have to ask you: What is GOING ON in your brain 75%, 15%, and 10% of the time?

DG :: Well, 75 percent of the time, I’m thinking about ways to get my comics published, whether it’s in the mainstream media, the semi-mainstream media, or even self-publishing. For the mainstream, I’m trying to figure out how to market myself, being that I don’t really fit in to any categories with "Dustinland" — it’s not a political cartoon, but it is political at times, it’s not a whiny sex cartoon like Kathy, it’s not about five year old kids in Middle America asking mommy stupid but endearing questions and running all over the neighborhood trailing dotted lines — and "Birdy" is a little… abstract for the daily newspapers. Right now I’m working on self-publishing, but it can be pretty expensive.
15 percent of the time, I’m thinking about how evil our politicians are, how gullible Americans can be, how the Earth is screwed and how the world is going to end and that sort of thing. Paranoid? Yes. But just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not after you.
10 percent of the time I’m thinking about boobs — I mean, my girlfriend. Yes, my girlfriend’s boobs.
These statistics may be off slightly — it may be that I am thinking about getting published only 74 percent of the time and thinking about boobs 11 percent.

1-42 :: You seem to be very politically and socially minded. What other cartoonists influence you in this realm? [Keep in mind: If you say the Gary Trudeau, ("Doonesbury" Creator and famed political satirist) I’m going to have to kill you.]

DG :: I really haven’t been very influenced by any political cartoonists. Tom Tomorrow used to be amazing but hasn’t been that funny lately. "Shlock n Roll" is pretty on point these days, but overall, I’d say my biggest political influence right now is not a cartoonist, but Greg Palast, the amazing investigative journalist who wrote "The Best Democracy Money Can Buy." In terms of comics in general, my biggest influence is Jhonen Vasquez, creator of "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" and "Squee." He has a cartoon on Nick now but I don’t have cable because I am poor.

1-42 :: As someone who wears many hats (and works three jobs to support her writing habit), I want to know: What pays the bills?

DG :: I’m an editor for a trade magazine about the licensing industry! Exciting, yes? What does that mean? Well, I interview CEOs, vice presidents and marketing managers about how they take properties, whether it’s SpongeBob or Spider-Man, Coke or Ford, and use these brand names to sell billions of dollars worth of products, most of them quite useless. It can be interesting on occasion. Yesterday I interviewed Old Dirty Bastard/Dirt McGirt’s manager about his new clothing line. I also get free toys and movie passes, so that can be okay. I got the job straight out of college and I would actually be relatively content if they didn’t pay me in office supplies. I do know a lot about merchandising now though, so if I hit it big I’ll know exactly how to make millions out of talking Birdy plush toys.

1-42 :: Let’s talk romance, how popular is your advice column (Dear Dusty/Moodspins – and pick a link of choiceJ ) and how many people actually know Dustin also has a "warm, fuzzy" side to his persona? (Sarcasm oozing from the pores.)

DG :: It’s hard to say how popular the advice column is, but all three of my friends seem to enjoy it when I pay them to read it. But seriously folks, I’m actually tremendously popular, as is my advice column. It’s pretty new but it seems to have developed quite a following, which is strange because I just developed it as a fun little side project. As creativity goes, often times it seems that it’s those little experiments that turn out to be your best work.

1-42 :: As a fan of "white guy hair," I have to make a correction to your strip. The "Jew-Fro" you speak of is actually referred to as an "Is-Fro." Now that we’ve gotten that straight, why the hatred for Frat Boy Hair? Is it because they were the perpetrators of all the wedgies you received in college, which in turn served to impair [unspeakable] vital organs?

DG :: You know, surprisingly, a lot of Greek life enjoyed my comics in college. I think most people in frats or sororities can acknowledge the cheesy aspects of it and laugh at it. Usually they’d read one of my comics and say, "Yeah, that’s true, but my frat isn’t like that," or point to their friend and go "Oh my God, that is so you." After all, any attention is good attention, and I think people like reading about themselves, even if it’s in a slightly negative light. For those Greeks who didn’t like my comic or were offended by them: you can suck my ass. Hey, I just tell it like it is; it’s not my fault that the truth hurts. People need to lighten up. I make fun of everything, including myself. One of my favorite quotes is "I’d rather be a humorous fool than a serious jackass" (from the sappy book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior). I think that’s one of the problems I had with Greek life to begin with — too many people taking themselves way too seriously. Macho guys listening to Dave Matthews, getting drunk and punching people, Jappy girls dressing up for 8:30 am classes like they were going out clubbing — come on. My suggestion for college freshmen is to relax and meet people the normal way. You don’t need to get hazed and intimidated by some douche bag or shallow bitch to enjoy college.

1-42 :: Let’s talk politics. What’s irking you most these days? Who’s the number one person you wish would read your political rants and comics (if he/she’s not reading them already?)

DG :: I’m just sick of the greed and the lying, on both sides, although of course Republicans are more blatantly evil. It sickens me to see September 11th used as a marketing tool to sell people false notions of patriotism to distract them from an administration that is stealing our money and giving it to the wealthy. Too many people have become so afraid since 9/11 that they’ll believe anyone who rallies around the flag and claims they’ll protect them, when in reality, these political figures are just trying to further their own personal interests. Look at George W. — the guy had his dad get him into the National Guard, which he didn’t even show up to, to avoid serving in Vietnam. Then he has the nerve to dress up in a flight suit and act the hero while he sends our soldiers off to die in Iraq. I could rant about this forever, but the basic idea is that the Bush administration is not protecting anyone, they’re looting our economy, and we’re going to pay for it in the future if we don’t do something soon. I would hope that the common man, the every day citizen who isn’t that up to date on politics is reading my comics because I want to make a difference, I want to reach out to people that don’t already have their minds made up. I don’t want to preach to the choir or argue with conservatives. I want to give people the facts and let them make up their minds. You can’t just shove your opinions in someone’s face, you need to relate to them on a human level first. That’s why I don’t only do political cartoons — I cover every subject from sex to work to the weather. Once in a while I cover politics, and if people still want more, they can check out "Plustinland", the new section of Dustinland.com that has plenty of political links and some other fun stuff to keep you entertained

1-42 :: Seriously, for a second, what’s your ultimate goal for your comics? Education? Enlightenment? Fame? Wads of cash? Hot chicks?

DG :: Ultimately, it’s a form of self-expression that keeps me going. I drew comics for myself when I was younger, and now that other people read them, that’s great. But in the end, it’s how I deal with the world around me. The world is full of endless, mind-numbing and frustrating stupidity, and if I didn’t get to rant about it, I’d explode. Fortunately, most of the stupidity is actually pretty funny if you look at it the right way. Of course I’d love it to take off, but not so that I can buy a Ferrari and get some platinum teeth. I’d love to just be able to focus on my cartoons and writing instead of sitting in a cubicle checking my e-mail all day and reading The Onion.

1-42 :: I’m assuming "DustinLand" is based on you. (Nothing gets past me.) What is "Birdy" about? (Btw, readers, if you want a REALLY cute shirt, visit www.dustinland.com for vintage "Birdy.")

DG :: "Birdy" was originally just a parody. I was looking through the comics section of either The Daily News or The New York Post with a friend of mine, and we couldn’t believe how unfunny the average three-panel cartoon has become. You can’t even find the joke in half of these comics. I used to love Garfield growing up. Now it’s like — Jon: "I can’t get a date." Garfield: "That is sad." And that’s it. All these comics are so dull, unfunny and predictable, I decided to do my own version mocking them. I figured it should be about some ridiculously cute, stupid-looking animal, so I created "Birdy." In the first few "Birdys," NOTHING happened. It was great. That was the original point — it’s so unfunny that it’s funny. I mean, the first panel of every comic is just him standing there, looking at you in silence. This sets the pace, which is uncomfortably slow.
To my surprise, "Birdy" caught on in a big way, and at this point it might even be more popular than "Dustinland." Of course some people don’t get it, especially the early ones, like when Birdy says "Time to go to work," then puts on a hat and goes to work. It seems to be a love-hate thing. In fact, my dad used to call it Bird Shit. He’s come around though.

1-42 :: Tell me, people that cut lines – are they better or worse than Bush supporters?

DG :: Hey, I’m here to bring people together, not divide them further. Line cutters can suck, as can Bush supporters. But usually, I think both are good people who have been misled into doing the wrong thing. Except for fat lying hypocrites like Rush Limbaugh. But you know, I respect a caring, educated Bush supporter more than an apathetic Joe-shmoe who couldn’t care less, because nothing is worse than just not caring.

1-42 :: Libras or Scorpios? Libras represent an aesthetic of beauty and grace. They are the philosophers, the diplomats, the clever ones in the group. 007 is a Libra. Scorpios are more intrigued by power and control. They can be extremely loyal and intuitive. They usually maintain an air of self-confidence. Dr. Evil is a Scorpio.

DG :: I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.

1-42 :: In the infamous words of my favorite host, James Lipton: What will you say when you get to Heaven?

DG :: Heaven is real? Oh shit.

2004 1-42 Online